I know it's hard to believe, but, yes, even pastors get criticized. As I was preparing to lead a Bible study last week, I reflected on a few of the criticisms I've received over my years in ministry. One man, for example, told me that I "didn't yell enough" when I taught. Another time, someone submitted a letter to the church board, stating that I often "stand in the wrong place" after the morning service is over. Another lady wrote to the church and, although she had never once attended a service, claimed that I was an "unbiblical" pastor. Sometimes you just have to laugh at the things people think about you. However, I've also had harsher things said about me. At one time, there were people in the inner circles of my life who said that I was an uncaring person. I've also been told that I'm a bad counselor. A fellow staff member even once explained to me that I was "unfit for pastoring." Considering that my career and life's calling is pastoring, that was hard to swallow. Criticism comes in all shapes and sizes and we can learn from our mistakes and flaws. I recently read a good article on DesiringGod.org that helped me put together some biblical ideas on how to handle criticism.
Sometimes when we're criticized, the criticism is just poorly assessed opinions from people who do not have all the facts. Sometimes even total strangers will mumble a criticism toward us in a crowded line at the local Walmart. I once had lady criticize how I loaded my items on the conveyor at the grocery store (and I was only purchasing three items.) Uninformed or impersonal criticism is one thing, but when the criticism comes from family, friend or co-workers, it can be quite painful. And the real problem with being criticized is that it can easily become an opportunity for us to sin. We are often tempted to respond with anger, bitterness or defensiveness and this can lead to further sin. And if we internalize the criticism, we can think self-condemning thoughts that are unproductive and even sinful.
So the question becomes: How should Christians handle criticism? Well, here are four biblical truths that help us welcome criticism as a friend.
Sometimes when we're criticized, the criticism is just poorly assessed opinions from people who do not have all the facts. Sometimes even total strangers will mumble a criticism toward us in a crowded line at the local Walmart. I once had lady criticize how I loaded my items on the conveyor at the grocery store (and I was only purchasing three items.) Uninformed or impersonal criticism is one thing, but when the criticism comes from family, friend or co-workers, it can be quite painful. And the real problem with being criticized is that it can easily become an opportunity for us to sin. We are often tempted to respond with anger, bitterness or defensiveness and this can lead to further sin. And if we internalize the criticism, we can think self-condemning thoughts that are unproductive and even sinful.
So the question becomes: How should Christians handle criticism? Well, here are four biblical truths that help us welcome criticism as a friend.
1. We need to recognize the raw reality of the Gospel.
When Christ died for your sins, He removed the curse of criticism from your life. One of the greatest benefits you received from Jesus paying for your sins is that ALL of your sins were paid for. Your past, present and future sins and failures are paid for by the precious, holy blood of Jesus Christ. The raw reality of the Gospel is that I am a lifelong sinner and Christ is a loving Savior. Acknowledging that I am a sinner and imperfect can take the sting out of any criticism I might receive. I cannot save myself or even remotely justify myself before God. But, Christ did that work for me on the cross.
Romans 5:12 - "Therefore since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand." (NIV)
If Christ is your Savior, He exchanged your ledger of sins with His righteousness. Your ledger no longer has any stains or sins listed. His death on the cross, His love for you, covers all of your sins.
Romans 5:12 - "Therefore since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand." (NIV)
If Christ is your Savior, He exchanged your ledger of sins with His righteousness. Your ledger no longer has any stains or sins listed. His death on the cross, His love for you, covers all of your sins.
2. We need to remove ourselves from the formula.
In Biblical terms, this means that we need to die to ourselves. Criticism gains a foothold and leads us to sin when we put ourselves on the throne of our lives and we decide that we need to be defensive. If we are on the throne, Christ is not. This is why the Apostle Paul writes in Galatians 2:20 - "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (NIV)
If you will crucify yourself, particularly your pride, to "be something," and recognize that God is the one who "is something," you will not sin as you are being criticized. One of the ways that I do this is to turn to my accountability group and openly share the criticism without defensiveness. I simply let them know what I have been accused of and ask for guidance, counsel and help. This exposure immediately gives me a level of humility with a group of spiritual men who are guiding me.
If you will crucify yourself, particularly your pride, to "be something," and recognize that God is the one who "is something," you will not sin as you are being criticized. One of the ways that I do this is to turn to my accountability group and openly share the criticism without defensiveness. I simply let them know what I have been accused of and ask for guidance, counsel and help. This exposure immediately gives me a level of humility with a group of spiritual men who are guiding me.
3. We need to realize the real depth of our deceived heart.
God says in Jeremiah 17:9-10 - "Man's heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked." Think hard about this verse. Dwell on it. Your heart, my heart, is deceitful above "all things." God is saying that my heart is dangerously deceitful. This is why we can often shock ourselves with our sinful choices. When God says that our heart is desperately wicked, it literally means that there are many crooked pathways in it. So, if we truly realize the depth of our sinful, foolish, deceived heart, then a person who is criticizing one of our flaws or failings is only seeing a portion of the real story. The truth is that, as Christians, most of us know the real depth of our sinfulness. We know the weak faith, judgmental, depressed, apathetic, uncaring, unloving, dark thoughts that rattle around in our heads on an hourly basis. Even if what you are accused of is without merit, you know that they don't know the half of your sinful ways. Sometimes when a person criticizes me of something, I simply acknowledge that they are right, make apologies and then express other areas where I am failing. This, again, keeps me off the throne and keeps me humble.
4. We need to rest in God's acceptance.
We saw a moment ago that Romans 5:1-2 says that we are at peace with God. When you go to bed at night, you can know that God is at peace with you. Romans 8:1-2 says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death." (NASU)
So, not only are you at peace with God, but there is absolutely no condemnation from God toward you. The same chapter ends with this great truth: Romans 8:31-35 - "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ?" (NASU) We can rest in God's acceptance!
When people criticize you, evaluate the message, learn from your mistakes, mature in your behavior and, above all, rest in God's grace, peace and acceptance of you.
So, not only are you at peace with God, but there is absolutely no condemnation from God toward you. The same chapter ends with this great truth: Romans 8:31-35 - "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God's elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ?" (NASU) We can rest in God's acceptance!
When people criticize you, evaluate the message, learn from your mistakes, mature in your behavior and, above all, rest in God's grace, peace and acceptance of you.
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